


Barely Joyous, Broken Thing

by MiniNephthys



Category: Shin Megami Tensei II
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-27
Updated: 2013-12-27
Packaged: 2018-01-06 07:32:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1104122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiniNephthys/pseuds/MiniNephthys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Perhaps not loved.  But stayed, that was enough, if this ever happened at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Barely Joyous, Broken Thing

Aleph is not quite a girl's name. Neither is it quite boyish, so she keeps it for her own when it's given to her. Hawk was far too masculine for her anyway.

Bet argues long and hard that she is the Messiah and that he has no claim to the role at all, so the Messiah Aleph is, even when a challenger appears to her title. Aleph remembers then that Zayin had always believed in her, that she had nodded and half-smiled when Aleph said she was about to reclaim her station.

Bet had not been able to stay with her long. He gave her his life to protect her from Daleth's blows, when he could have kept it had he not decided before that she was far more important than he. She wonders, sometimes, if he regretted it.

Aleph remembers things then - the destruction of Valhalla, Daleth's reappearance, a false God, these things come in a jumble when she looks back on them. She remembers vividly that Zayin, strong in more than muscle, had always known what to do, even if it got her in trouble that Aleph had to bail her out of and even if the sight of her in stone had briefly stopped Aleph's heart.

It doesn't take much for her to agree to what she's saying, even if Zayin is not quite Zayin any longer.

Satan takes her name, after all, and almost her face, and her memories when Aleph asks. Is that not enough?

Even though the Center is corrupt, Aleph still believes in peace, peace for every living person, and peace is what Zayin offers. What Louis would call for is massive destruction, and Aleph cannot let destruction be what she brings to the people. She is the Messiah, after all, and that continues to mean something to her and to everyone.

She is close to Zayin's - Satan's - her side when she watches the corrupt world be destroyed beneath them, craving the reassurance of her dearest friend's touch that yes, this was right or at least forgiveable.

They are never separated in Eden, though Zayin takes a more fearsome form to fight. Aleph knows that this time, Aleph won't have to pick up the pieces, won't need to bail her out of her decisions, won't need to turn her back to flesh and bone.

She thinks this until after the battle with God, when Zayin scatters into dust and Aleph is left scrambling to put her ashes back together and finding nothing.

There are worlds and worlds after that and she remembers nothing.

Sometimes she catches glimpses of the line of a mouth or a woman's serious expression, and those days she thinks to speak up, but that would be silly. It is only the hint of an impression in the back of her mind, that sometime in the past she may have thought and stayed.

Perhaps not loved. But stayed, that was enough, if this ever happened at all.


End file.
